I scored myself passing on 80 out of the 95 rules which I hope is acceptable since I'm earnest and really try, and I want to be better – I really do! When I photographed my bikes I inadvertently had the valve stems at 12 o'clock instead of 6 o'clock, but they were neatly aligned and I didn't think it made any difference. I'll try to do better next time. I could even re-photograph them if it would help. And I wear MTB shoes because I just recently bought my road bike and my MTB shoes cost $130 and I can't afford a new pair of road bike specific shoes and pedals just yet, but I really want some after I pay down the bike some more. And I measure my distances and speed in miles just because I'm a silly American and that's what we understand. My legs are unshaven and I feel so dirty and ashamed about that, but the drains in my apartment seem to get easily clogged, and I'm not sure I can afford all the razors either given how much I've spent on bikes and bike gear. I'd rather buy more high-quality beer for after my rides.

There are a couple more rules I'd like to suggest if it wouldn't be too presumptuous given my score:

Rule #96 : No spitting

Under no circumstances shall a rider turn his head to either side and project a mouthfull of the nasty stuff that coagulates within his mouth into the air. Said nasty stuff must either be swallowed, or the rider should pull over to the side of the road and project it safely away from the cycling surface.

Rule #97 : No bells or whistles

Bikes shall not be equipped with cute little bells to announce the rider's approach, nor shall a rider employ a mouth-blown whistle or other device, whether electronic or pneumatically operated, to accomplish same. Only the rider's voice shall be used, and in a polite manner unless the rider being approached is acting like a complete idiot, in which case mild profanity is acceptable.