Bike fit is an experimental and iterative process in which tiny changes can have major impacts.

I just lost a lot of weight and due to a neck, issue, I actually increased the angle of my stem upwards (about 1/4" higher) and it made all the difference in the world. No more neck pain, more comfort and higher speed. I guess the point is that there is a lot more to stem length and bar height than the size of your mid section. Again, get cozy with a good LBS that will let you experiment with saddles, stems etc... Otherwise, be prepared to spend some serious coin.

FWIW, Gred LeMond the three time non doper TdF winner says that you should be as aero as you can comfortably maintain. He's the guy that sort of invented the relaxed geometry racing bike. He's exactly right. Comfort comes first, then go aero. Doesn't do you any good if you can't hold the position longer than 5 minutes.

J.