Well the upcoming turn was a right hander, so staying left would put me on the outside to enter it which is generally the preferred position, but I wasn't so much thinking of that at the moment, it was a long straightaway and I was already on the left side so it was just easier and more efficient to stay there.
I don't want to re-open the debate on the crash, because it seems like Black wallnut and I have patched things up, but for certain I should have let him know I was coming, I wished I'd done that. FYI my knee is mostly better, I couldn't race Sunday, but I was able to go for an 80 mile road ride so I'm feeling lucky there. My new frameset will hopefully be arriving tomorrow so I'll be able to build it up for this Sunday's race. I'm spending some cash unexpectedly but my crashed bike was quite old so I'm getting an upgrade out of the situation and I'm psyched to test it out. I think I'll actually be able to repurpose the old Bianchi reparto corse, can't have too many bikes right? (judging by your profile I'm sure you'll agree!)
You bring up the subjects of motivation and reward. Black wallnut suggested we might be racing for different reasons. The crash has definitely given me an opportunity for introspection on those subjects. Yeah, there's no purse or prize for my races, heck there's not even much in the way of bragging rights, because I don't have that many family / friends that even know what I'm talking about! But I enjoy improving and getting out there and doing my best. That's what the competitive spirit is all about right? I get adrenalized out there and I want to move up in the pack and I don't want to give up a spot without a fight. I enjoy the competition, and after the finish I always ride up to the guys I finished near and congratulate them on their races and recount a particular corner or situation.
It is a fun sport and it seems laid back and welcoming to newcomers, which I'm sure is one of the reasons for it's rapid growth. This is in contrast to road racing which seems much more forbidding and insular. I think hand ups are fun too, although to be honest I don't see them very often at my races, maybe I'd need to join a team.
But like I said, at this last race I didn't even notice them, I was so focussed on the race. If I put my head back in the moment, I was entering the last lap and one of the last sprinting opportunities of the race, and I know that I pretty much have to race to exhaustion to finish where I have been. I'd fallen on the last off camber and lost a few spots, there's no way to know where I was at, but probably around 10th maybe a little lower. There's a guy right on my tail who's been there through the long curve from the other side of the course, in fact he may even have been able to catch a little draft, at the least he was following my lead through the crowd. He kept calling out "on your left" so I knew he was there without checking. If I was to pull over / slow down at that moment for a hand-up, I gar-ron-tee he would have gone right around me and kept going. I might have had to battle him for the finish anyways, but I'm not about to give him that leg up for a hand up!
Yeah it's only Cat 4 masters, but drive to win is there just the same. However it is certainly not worth getting badly hurt or hurting anybody else. There is risk inherent in the sport and we all sign waivers, but I have not been nor do I want to become a reckless rider. I do feel there's less risk somehow in say battling a corner with a peer than in overtaking slower riders / groups. I will be more cautious in those situations in the future. I don't call out much on the race course, I guess I figured that was for passing riders while commuting, but I will communicate more. I think most of the remaining races I'll do will have smaller fields so that should help with the crowding factor.
Good luck out there and keep the rubber side down