I'm a continuous linked chain abuser, I guess. I clean it when it looks dirty or is noisy, which is usually about the same time.

Buy a pack of 2 frozen pie crusts.
Use them to make a shorthand version of Cornish pasty, or a pecan cobbler.
Both need to bake a while, but either will leave you one of the empty pans.

Take the empty pan outside.
Take the chain off the bike.
Lay the chain flat-wound, in the pie pan.
Cover by 1/2" with gasoline.
Let soak while you clean and lube the rest of the bike.

Scrub the chain a bit with a toothbrush.
Rinse with water, towel it off with an old towel, thoroughly.
Hang to dry on the recycling roll-out cart handle.

Check the tires, wrap, saddle and calipers.
Adjust the FD, RD if needed, calipers if needed.

While the chain is hanging, spray liberally with WD40.
Spray the inside of an old washcloth with WD40.
Continuously run the chain through the washcloth.
You don't have to get it 100% clean, something will always seep out.

Mount the chain on your clean, lubed, and adjusted bike.
Slowly lube each and every link with your choice of "lube that cannot be named."

Go back inside and eat the pasty or the cobbler.
Burp yourself, rest 30 minutes, and go ride your bike.

This process takes about an hour and a half to 2 hours.
Yes, that's a long time to lube a chain. I do recommend it, though.