So you are dead set against any type of bag, and would prefer a bike that accepts panniers? Me? I would bag the laptop and ride the heck out of that Dirty Disco after putting some black bar tape on there and calling it a day. Messenger bag not a backpack though, since it will more than likely fit better and be more comfortable. How big of a laptop and how thick? Macbook Air? After reading your post, you are willing to spend $1500 to not carry your laptop in a bag. First world problems man, first world!!