Old 02-20-15, 11:34 AM
contiuniously variable
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Originally Posted by Aznman View Post
Some of you have already known about my use of a secondhand "Ladies" step-through bicycle.
Now that cycling has become my most favorite way of commuting, I want to make another confession just so that I can clear my conscience. I used to have several severe mental disorders, especially Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder and PTSD. A lot of problems my mental disorders have created were solved after I was - thankfully -properly diagnosed by a great psychiatrist and given the right medications. Almost every aspect of my life was improved upon after this long overdue help. Unfortunately, I still have some residual anxiety - causing me to still be bad with conversations and "natural coolness". I do not know how to make the best conversations. I tend to stutter, rudely cut off after my short reply or awkwardly laugh in an attempt to save the conversation. Most often, I know what people expect out of me, and this makes it even worse given that I fail to deliver. It is bad enough that I am an Asian "dudelett" who rides a "step-through" frame. It may be worse given that I may have acted noticeably awkward in public.

Cyclists in Los Angeles are already stereotypically thought of as crazies with no home, fat people looking to lose weight or illegal immigrants with minimum wage jobs. Though I think of myself as being far more lucky than these people (I am not homeless; I do have a car; I lift weights and have muscles; I am a US Citizen; and I am currently going to school), I fear that my social awkwardness, weird bike frame, and some ugly DIY accessories will only add to the bad rap of cycling.

Cycling has done so much for me. So if I have inadvertently ruined the image of cycling for the rest of you, I must sincerely apologize.
You've not done anything wrong. Just be you.

- Andy
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