such a schlub, me. i'm tired.

cold, clear, grey morning ride. puddles all drained away. not nearly enough sleep last night, so i was late starting out, and button of all buttons. tired.

the ride was a write-off as far as not dying in the first block, so i kind of lost the main plot and started to hyperfocus on tiny side-things instead, like timing the light at the bottom of the bike path on my stopwatch. chunnering away to myself, leaning on the button and channelling frank burns at it: "come on, come on, come on; what the zark is your stupid problem? rome is burning; the sky is falling; CHANGE ALREADY!!" secure in the knowledge that Nobody Bikes To Work Anymore In This Weather, and i've got the world to myself. and i look right, and there's another commuter on a loaded white commuter bike at my shoulder. dunno how long he'd been there, but once i'd finished yelping and almost falling over we had a nice little chat about something or other until the light finally did change. i'm not too sure what. about five minutes later, heading onto the bridge, i kind of remembered his nose and it occurred to me he might have been the manager of my kid's summer team. it's hard to tell under a helmet. it was that kind of day. still is.

woman in the health club sitting all by herself on a chair outside the door to the court, like a kid in high school waiting for the principal to come out and Deal with her. waiting for her partner, i guess. she got an eyeful of my whole flight-squadron gear while i was weighing myself right beside her, and she was VERY impressed when i told her where i'd come from. so impressed that i didn't have the heart to tell her how milquetoast my performance is considered by Real Commuters. so i swaggered a bit and spit in the dirt and answered her technical questions about 'don't you get COLD' for her like i really was some kind of rareified astronaut type with special knowledge. then i went and washed myself.

still tired coming home. there's a new person in my 4-person cube these days, and she - i tracked this - never let more than 40 minutes go by ALL DAY without starting a new little popularity session with the other denizens. fries my head so i hardly know which way is up. i've really messed something up with my gearing system, so i didn't have all my gears on the way home and that didn't help, but i was kind of too far gone to notice what kind of difference it made.

lawd. just put me to bed and don't bend me. today the scale says i weigh 150.