Box has touched down!
My take:
I first saw the fork legs in there and thought they would make a cool shop decoration. I pulled one out and noticed the dropout appeared to have a chunk out of it so I pull the other one out. Same thing. And then I look closer and the ole light bulb pops on. Bottle opener! Super cool and I had to snatch one.
I don't have it in me to upgrade the box to new and lose and history. I'll leave that to someone else. Box should ship out tomorrow if all goes as planned.