I ride with friends. There is no mercy regarding bike comments, wrenching comments, how we look in Lycra, the price of divorce, stopping on hills to remove monkeys from backs, and any and all perceived lack of expertise at anything. All said with a smile, so there's no confusing the issue. Our favorite self-comment is "this engine's had it." Fisher-Price references to modern bikes abound, as well as "who is your stylist, Elton John?" When someone says "I had Rob look at this FD, but it's still acting up," it's obligatory to say "well, that's your problem." This occupies perhaps .001% of our time, and the rest is pretty much fun, except for the last couple of grim miles of any long ride, when we shut up. Then, we finish, seek food, lie about the ride, and go right back to being ourselves, which ain't much.

I used to ascribe to this philosophy when getting dropped: "Well, let him/her/them go, I ride my pace until I'm done." That works for me unless it's getting dark out, in which case I would make the cell call. I rarely asked myself "Did you not know these were the folks you'd be riding with, and should you not have expected such?" I assume the people who dropped me share somewhat the same take: "He/She/It should have realized we're going to go fast and either he/she/it should have kept up or had a Plan B." I know this because that's what they say when asked about it. Nice, folks, it's just how they do their "group rides," which are more of a "group start." Far be it from me to hold anyone back. Seriously.

Recently, I simply ride alone, or ask, "how fast, how far?" and add 2mph and 10 miles to whatever they tell me, because that's how it usually ends up.

I sometimes go to charity rides with friends, but don't often ride the entire ride with them. There are too many things to see, admire, and find out about. I may go way ahead for half of a century, only to find them near the end when my engine has had it, limp in draft home. I did this on one ride, first to the first three rest stops, when I was approached by two guys who declared they'd been giving chase for 50 miles. After that, they dropped me like I was a sack of lead, and I was once again alone, but this time, tuckered out. My friends were nowhere in sight. I finished, waited a full hour, and then went looking for them. Seems they'd decided to stop about 2/3 of the way at a restaurant and have lunch. These things happen.

My "group" rides what the leader is pulling, which is within reason, or they tell him or her. We all stop when anyone stops, whether for water, a flat, or to argue about where we're going. We ride together, stop together, end together, and log our mileage. If folks don't care for that approach, we don't mind, but we ride that way. If someone is feeling chippy, they can take off, no biggie. We have folks who can hammer but not climb, or climb but not hammer, so it evens out. We take turns pulling, unless we are going up or down hills, when it's every man/woman/alien for his/her/itself, then we regroup.