People are sick of this story but tough ****. In my first race I lapped the field solo. In my second race I lapped the field twice after dropping my break companion near the end. Some people just have it. The sooner you stop focusing on them and on yourself, the sooner you will get closer to results that are acceptable to you. Hey, you pinned on a number and raced. That's step one. Don't let one race be your only reference point. Give it another shot.