You will need a new shifter to go to 9 or 10 spd, and may or may not need a new DR. Chain will have to match the speeds you are going to, but easily and cheaply resolved. If it were me, I'd return them for the right wheel set, but it will work with spacers.
105 DR are reasonably cheap, and work very well, just make sure you get what you need cassette and big ring size (make sure it will take up needed tooth difference slack.)
You will love going to 9 or 10 spd, for more gear choices...
And, I wouldn't tell her how much it cost me to make it right, just keep repeating how much nicer the wheels and extra gears are for you!