This is my third year, and second full season as a Cat 5. There are plenty of races in the area, so that's not my "excuse." I've entered maybe 20 and finished most of them, but not once even with the field. Although I technically qualify for an upgrade, clearly I'm not yet competitive in my current category, so it wouldn't make much sense. But as long as I continue to improve, and as long as it continues to be fun and exciting, I'll keep at it, and once I do finish with the field, I'll be happy to start racing with the Masters (may avoid regular Cat 4 races - they seem to be the crashy-est).
Several times before a race I've thought "I'm ready," only to discover that almost everyone else was far more ready. However, yesterday was a little different. The group ride action for the first 80% or so of the race was easy-breezy, and plenty of fun simply because it was so much faster than my normal rides, but not at all difficult. Now and then the group would kick it up a little, but the short, rolling circuit (Prospect Park) was so familiar, those adjustments were all highly predictable, which again made it easy to deal with. But even if it was easy, it was still work, and when it came time to put forth some real effort, I don't know why, but I just didn't bring myself to do it. I just let them get away.
In the hours since, I've started to think it was because, even as much as I always think I COULD place well - I'll be excited by the prospect, the 'gut feeling' that this will be the race - I've habituated myself to getting dropped, and there isn't anyone who actually expects me to do any better. Although I'm a member of CRCA, the big local club, I'm not on any sub-team, and often feel like an interloper when, after the races, everyone else is comparing notes with their teammates and planning follow-up rides. I think if I were on a team, it would make a big difference.
That's my story.