I bet you're frustrated and I know the feeling, I'm dealing with another issue all together that's keeping me from enjoying what I enjoy the most. I know you've tried several saddles, bibs, etc... but lets start fresh and look at things for what they are. First off, choose the saddle with the width that best fits your sit bones and has the narrowest nose like a Fizik Arione or similar which will help with your thigh rubbing. Then choose the bibs that have that nice balance of comfort and padding, too much padding is just as bad as too little. Then adjust the saddle height using whatever method you believe works to get the proper leg extension for max power to the pedals. From that point see how upright you are? We are talking road bike, correct? For me, sitting too upright leads to discomfort after about 15-20mi and when I was trying to figure out how to correct that issue I was thinking it must be a saddle or just my body but someone here said to lower my bars which sounded crazy but it worked almost instantly for me and I can go 60-80mi without any pain at all and no more sores. The thinking is as you lower the bars your body rolls forward which takes pressure off of your sit bones plus raising your seat back up to the optimum height will take pressure off as well because straightening your legs will reduce the amount of weight on your saddle too with a proper leg extension. So what you've been trying to do seems counterproductive compared to what worked for me. Just for an exercise, sit in a chair or on a bar stool while in a riding position, then while pretending to hold your handlebars lean forward paying attention to pressure on your sit bones. It should reduce as you roll forward. This advice may not help you but it was invaluable for me, Good Luck!