The first real road bike my wife got was Univega Viva Sport. It was 1986 and I had just bought a Cannondale and she was still riding a heavy Sears 12 speed. She originally didn't want a new bike, but that changed pretty quickly. The first thing I did was have Shimano 600 index shifters and derailleurs put on her Univega. So my bike had Suntour Cyclone and hers had the latest index Shimano 600. A few years later I built up my Criterium. I swapped any better parts from my old bike onto hers and my original became the tow vehicle to drag around the kids.

About 7/8 years ago we both started riding a lot more together. I started swapping out parts and her Univega and eventually she was running brifters and upgraded wheels. 3 years ago after I had started mountain biking I got her a mountain bike, that she didn't want. But... the one I found was lighter than mine, had nice/nicer components, and I set it up to make it super comfortable for her. She doesn't ride challenging trails, but we do ride together and took the bikes to Prescott last year and had a blast. This last year I replaced her Univega with a newer bike with a triple. Initially she wasn't too impressed but I swapped out whatever I needed, including a lighter wheelset, to get it as comfortable as possible and she loves it.

I echo all of the sentiments that when you ride with any significant other, actually anyone, you have to act in the best interests of that person. That does include making sure that that person has something that is light enough and good enough that you would ride it and then make sure it fits. If it takes swapping out a bunch of stems, adding a gender specific 400 gram saddle, and inline brakes, so be it.

As for your colleague, it may make sense to have her look at crank forward geared bikes for around town. I would think a 21D would be a good fit because of the triple. After she gets used to that she may be able to get comfortable on her road bike once it is setup for her.

John

Added edit... In my last statement I inadvertently missed that your reply was for 2 separate people. The handle bars on the road bike can be raised significantly and my wife uses a Serfas Rx saddle to prevent numbness. Also wider tires will make it a little more comfortable and grip better.