Originally Posted by
InTheRain
If he thinks of himself as a serious cyclist, I'd assume he is not fat and comes in at a weight of less than 160. So, if I'm a clyde weighing in at well over 240, I go right up to his face and call him a "little wuss" and give out a hysterical laugh. I keep doing it until he physically assaults me (which I would welcome) or cries like a baby. We'll see who walks away from that encounter feeling embarrassed and intimidated. It's not a good idea to call anyone something inappropriate no matter how well you know them.
two thoughts (a little on the evil side):
1. after the wuss comment, add "I should be at home cleaning my guns but the voices in my head said to go out riding." right before the hysterical laugh. Generally is a conversation stopper.
2. Go up to said scrawny cyclist, get into his personal space, put a hand on his shoulder and look at him really intensely and say, "Dude. My parents were married. Yours?" while sort of squeezing his shoulder in your grip. Hysterical laugh is optional at this point.
Either one would probably stop it for good. If you really wanted to mess with him, a couple of weeks later show up in one of those Fat Bastard jerseys and don't say a word.
J.