"Hello it is me the boss. As you all know if the boss sees his shadow on the 11th of November it means that work is cancelled and it is fritata Wednesday. Considering I am writing you this email, you can guess where this is going.

I encourage all of you to make fritatas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Per company policy, we provide reimbursement for up to 9 eggs, a package of hormel bacon, and 4oz of cabot brand cheddar cheese. If you wish to be reimbursed you must provide receipts to HR. Anyone that does not give their receipts to Doris by noon on Friday will not be eligible for fritata day reimbursement.

Thank you, and enjoy this glorious egg day!
-The Boss"