Ha! I resemble these remarks.

I bought a 2013 Foundry Auger (CF, disc brake cyclocross) this summer. Light (~20 lbs) and fast!
So, of course, I turned it into a commuter!
I added:
fenders (it has fender eyelets and bridge mounts, kinda unique for a CF frame/fork),
Brooks B17
riser stem
mirror
frame bag
handlebar bag
dynamo hub and headlight

It's still fast, but not quite as light (~25 lbs). Still, it's almost 15 lbs lighter than the steel MTB ('88 KOM) I've been riding on gravel.
I kept lightweight 38 mm tires on it, though. I hate the ride of heavy puncture proof tires.