Originally Posted by MarkS

Clipless bike seats. You have a custom made seat that straps to your posterior with a special cleat that allows you to clip-in to any SPD (Seat Protection Device) compatible bicycle.

A talking bike so you won't get lonely on long trips. "I'm sorry, I can't do that Dave." Also has an optional plug-in profanity module that will allow it to talk to other vehicles.

Airbag devices that you wear like a vest. They have sensors that know to inflate fractions of seconds before hitting the pavement. (really, I think this could work...)

Holographic projector that makes other vehicles think they're following a tractor.

Smoke and N2O generator so your bike can generate as much pollution as the surrounding vehicles. This will be called "Vehicular Cycling".

Cell-phone jamming device.