I know some of that feel. I probably spend ~10 minutes wrenching for every hour riding, and I average about 15 hours a week riding. Constantly tightening loose spokes, stopping everything from squeaking, 2 cassettes / 3 chains in 10 months, my third set of tires, etc, etc.

I've lost 50 pounds (240 to 190) and still huff and puff the hills. Bottom line is, unless we're 5-foot-something and like 140, we're going to huff and puff the hills. I'm not racing anyone (except myself,) so I don't care how fast I am up one hill or another. As long as I'm not getting (relatively) slower, it's all good. Comparing yourself to others gets frustrating really quick-- there's always somebody faster.