I usually position my right hand similarly to the left hand, but not always.

Overall, it will depend a bit on where, how, and with whom you're riding. In the city, I'm usually close to the brakes. Out of town, a bit less so. And, in a group of cyclists, also on the brakes.

I don't think I've ever had the bars ripped out of my grip. But, I can change grips or grab the brakes as fast as I can react to a situation.

Sometimes I'll just ride with 1 or 2 fingers, or perhaps the finger webs on the tops of the bars. Sometimes I'll use my aero position, grabbing the top of knobs on top of the brake levers, and lightly rest the arms on the top of the bars. This actually seems to be the easiest on the elbows.