Got a bunch of issues here, lets try to sort some out. Unless you race, there will always be someone faster that you with nicer kit. There is no reason you should be going through headsets, pedals and BB's on a regular basis. Dark roads and wheels taking hits? Get some BRIGHT lights and learn to bunny hop. Drivetrains do wear out, as well as tires. Are you rotating chains? Miles per year? Year round? As said before, get some quality wheels, more importantly , the rear. You're carrying all this weight for commuting? How much weight in groceries? You may be maxing out the bike and wheels. I think you might need a dedicated commuter and something for just riding. At 6'4" and 235 lbs, yes I have broken stuff. Strong, well made bike stuff will last. Maybe look for some newer, used stuff. Think about something like a Karate Monkey or Ogre 29er for a beefy commuter. Start there.