I'm jewish, but growing up my best friend was catholic. When I was 9 we added a family room to the house complete with a fireplace. When Christmas rolled around my friend, Steve, persuaded me to hang a stocking. After all, Santa rewards those who have been good; it doesn't say they can't be jewish. When I got home, I asked my mom who I would go about hanging a sticking by the fireplace and she was not amused. How dare you even consider it, she chided me. My dad came home, we ate dinner and I went to my room to read. A short while later my folks both came in and said since it was the first Christmas with a fireplace in the house, I should go ahead and hang a stocking and see what happens. So I took and old sock and some duct tape and hung it up over the fireplace. My siblings declined to join me. In the morning I hurried downstairs and lo, and behold, there was something filling the sock, and some wrapping paper poking out of the top. I grabbed the sock, reached in and pulled out a lump of coal, well a charcoal brickette. Attatched was a card that read, "Ho, Ho, Ho! Nice jewish boys shouldn't try to fool Santa!"

Anyways, last year my wife earmarked some money for me to buy a new bike since I never buy anything for myself. THis year I'm looking at a new kickstand and frame pump. I'm just a simple guy.