Thread: Fred is Dead
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Old 01-09-16 | 09:03 AM
  #54  
Hiro11
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I agree that Fred these days essentially means "poseur". But it's a very specific type of poseur.

Riding with fenders, a wool jersey and a mirror does not make you a Fred. In fact, most times these items make you the opposite of a Fred: a non-pretentious bike rider who has made a lot of good choices. HypnoToad's image on page 1 is the opposite of a Fred: he's a guy who looks like he knows what he's doing.

No, your true Fred combines cluelessness with pointlessness and a large amount or pretentiousness. They've made a concerted effort, spent some money and you can tell they've tried to fit a self-defined image of what a "serious bike rider" looks like or does but they've got it just a bit wrong. They just have no idea what they're doing and it's all a bit pathetic.

Today's Fred has the following characteristics:
1. Jarringly conflicted but carefully selected equipment choices: aero bars on a mountain bike, deep section carbon wheels on a flat bar hybrid, a thickly-padded sprung saddle (for "comfort") on a weight weenie carbon race bike, ridiculously tight race fit lycra for toodling along at 10 MPH on a MUP, flat pedals and blinding white leather cross training shoes on a Colnago C60.
2. Poor bike handling, slow pace, saddle too low, flatfooted peddling style, grinding a HUGE gear at 25 RPM and pudgy physique but a $5,000 bike.
3. Carefully selected Primal Wear, "funny", "macho" or otherwise ridiculous novelty jersey, generally worn way too baggy or way too tight. Because they're "bike riding" which is supposed to be "goofy", in their mind.
4. Attempting to be a "Serious Looking Biker" but riding a poorly maintained / dangerous bike with numerous two minute fixes required: rear derailleur slightly out of adjustment, front derailleur rubbing for mile after mile, flat tires, squeaky chain, handlebars at weird angle, misaligned saddle.

Your garden variety Fred emanates a strong odor of "I just don't get it".

/don't take this seriously at all, anyone on a bike is a friend of mine.

Last edited by Hiro11; 01-09-16 at 09:17 AM.
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