What? You mean when you said that "hardtails are ALWAYS faster uphill" you weren't claiming that hardtails are always faster uphill? And when you posted five or six times that hardtails win like 80% of the races so hardtails are faster, you weren't claiming that hardtails are faster?

Yes, you've built straw men, you moved the goal post and now you are going to pull either the Chewbacca defense or taking the ball home. While it has been entertaining to see a classic example of logical fallacies this is getting old and certainly not helping the OP. Who by now is probably confused as ****.

So, in order to help the OP who seems like a nice lad I'll try to steer this back into the proper direction (and into this decade, really)
OP: buying a full suspension bike could help you get those Strava KOMs you want, but a) it will cost you a lot of money and b) it may not. Your best option is to improve on your training and technique. If you are going to spend money, I'd start with tyres (as you call then in the UK) and then consider clipless pedals (in my experience they can help a lot) followed by things that may lower your bike weight (handlebar, post, wheels, fork) But mostly, train, train, train.