Originally Posted by
loky1179
It's great to have conversations with you spouse. The word "convert" implied to me that those conversations had already taken place, but the spouse was still not on board. If the "conversion attempts" continue after that point, I'd say you didn't really
That reminds me of a funny story - a woman at work was talking about some annoying habit of her husband, and she said "I will BREAK him of that!"
I burst out laughing - I responded "You're sure doing a good job selling the institution of marriage!" (I was single at that point)
I still tease her when I see her - and ask "Have you BROKEN him yet?!"
Ironically, I became a Christian in part as a result of people trying to 'break' me of the notion of spreading beliefs. I was always negative about 'preaching,' 'proselytizing,' 'evangelizing,' 'conversion,' 'exorcism,' and all these other social-interventions that are attributed primarily to Christianity even though everyone does them in some way or another. It was only upon becoming aware of the hypocrisy of people who preach against preaching, i.e. proselytize against proselytizing, convert others to being against conversion' that I began to accept these things as inevitable aspects of cultural socialization. The question is not whether to preach and convert others but how. It's better to be up front, honest, and listen to the other person's reasons instead of just always seeking new avenues to push your views. Through sincere reasoning and listening to each other, it is possible to reach a common understanding. It doesn't necessarily mean one person has 'converted' the other. It could just be that clarity was reached through reasonable discussion. If that happens to result in 'conversion' of one or both to a new or somewhat different point of view, what harm is there in that?
Also, not to push Christianity, but you might find it interesting that the Bible says not to divorce a spouse just because they are not a believer, but if they decide they want to leave, let them so that they might learn forgiveness through your acceptance of their leaving. That sort of applies to what you were saying about divorce except from the Christian point of view it's about not divorcing someone just because you can't convert them. You're supposed to accept them as a non-convert and only accept divorce if it is their choosing, and then only for the sake of forgiving their non-conversion, and then you're also not supposed to re-marry, though many people do in practice. Anyway, if you're like many people you probably find this patronizing, but I thought I would mention it because it's another point of view on conversion, forgiveness, and acceptance in marriage.