For the first issue it sounds like *maybe* you have too large of a size.
I usually ride in cargo shorts or whatever, but I do have a pair of "real" bike pants for a group I ride with on Saturdays that is mostly roadies. I've gained and lost weight several times so I have one of each of two or three different sizes and what you describe sounds like what happens to me when I've lost weight and put on the pants that are too loose. I wear them not so much because I *need* them but to fit in with the rest of the people on that ride.
(I used to ride in whatever, and on one ride when it was in the 40s, one of the other cyclists said, "You do pretty good for a guy in blue jeans!" He didn't mean it in a derogatory way, but I realized that to that group, wearing something other than bike kit seemed a little odd, so I usually where "proper" bike clothes with that group.)
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I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.
Originally Posted by
bragi 
"However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."