I'm not sure I get the 'not an English major' part but a stethoscope is a basic diagnostic tool for me. The sound of the bearings rolling telegraphs thru the frame, especially a bike with nice tubing. On the rollers I placed the pickup on the frame next to one roller and listen as I spin. Move along the frame and listen to each one. You can tell right off if the bearings are dirty or damaged, or still primo. I use it on my bikes about once/year. Hang the bike/ put it in the stand and take the chain off. Place the pickup on the frame to listen to the bearings. Listen to the rear from the chain stay. Listen to the front from the side of the fork. Listen to the BB from the seat tube and the HS from the DT. If you've not tried this you'll be pleased at what you can learn. Check all the bikes bearings in about 2 minutes. Then back on the road.