Originally Posted by
carpediemracing
I can't imagine going through what she's going through. Her kids are probably the worst off. They know something's wrong with their mom but at times they desperately want their "before" mom back.
For her it's worse because her family (meaning me and our two brothers) is over on the East Coast. Her husband's family is West Coast and Chicago, plus of course he works out there now. If she were around here we'd be able to help more. As it is both my brothers flew out there already, to help out with whatever. I won't be able to go but she seems okay with that.
One thing is that she's focused on how I'm doing, like how our dad is doing. That's a whole different story but our conversations always start off with her asking about our dad. I have to really turn the conversation around to focus on her.
The other thing is that it seems that everything happens to my sister. Again, it's got to be tough having one thing after another, seemingly without any particular cause/reason, hit you. If she were smoking and got lung cancer that wouldn't be a surprise, but the stuff she's had to deal with are seemingly random things like this seizure business.
I wonder if she turns the conversation towards you & your Dad because it's easier for her. Personally I find it easier to focus on other peoples problem than my own. Maybe she is like that too.
There is never any rhyme or reason as I can see in life- why difficult things happen to some people and not to others. The more life I've experienced, the more temporary all the good stuff seems to me. Which sounds kind of sad, but it's not. It makes me savor & appreciate the good stuff much more than I used to, before I'd seen really hard things happen to people I care about. I completely recognize now that there's a chance everything good is transitory, so I might as well enjoy it completely while I have it. So sometimes the simpliest things- like a bike ride- turn out to be the sweetest. It puts things like race results in perspective- I think if I was younger, I'd be more concerned about winning vs not. Now I'm just happy to be doing it at all.
It's hard for kids, you're right about that. They can't understand & it's probably just weird to them. Who wouldn't just want their usual everyday Mom back? Hopefully it all just continues to improve until nobody can even remember how weird everything was once. Some kind of vaguely bad but fuzzy memory. We hope.
