I can relate to this situation, as I went through a similar experience when looking for a cross/gravel bike here. I'm 5' so local stores were not willing to order a really small bike for me to try, I had to pay up front (and due to my complicated size I wasn't very keen on the idea). There was no option to get a refund if the bike wasn't my size.

I ended up using several trips to the capital to try on a few bikes while visiting my parents (and when I say "try" I mean just sitting on the bike, not actually riding or anything). None of them fit (too large) so I was glad I never tried my luck blind ordering. Cross/gravel is still very unknown in my country so there aren't many models available (and most of them were over my $1,000 budget, sometimes even doubling it).

In the end I gave up on store bikes (because I couldn't find a bike that fit me, my requirements and my budget) and went for a custom cromoly gravel bike from a workshop I visited on my last trip. I'm still (eagerly) waiting for it

If you can take a trip to a larger city with better bike stores I'd recommend that. I know it's a pain, but it's better than ending up with an ill-fitting bike.

Good luck with your search!