To the OP, 1 ft drop offs should be an easy skill to master but you should move up in baby steps. Work your way up from a curb drop off on a quiet street and then ride easier trials until your ability gives you confidence rather than anxiety.
Then learn (watching youtube videos was a great suggestion) what body positioning, arm/feet posture and body english can do for you and your balance. You can counterbalance and anticipate a drop off and let your body absorb the hit using your arms and legs as extensions of your suspension.
I think it is great that you and your wife ride together and want to challenge yourselves (in a safe way) to improve and venture a bit more without taking unnecessary risks.