Originally Posted by ImOnCrank

Yeah so a few weeks ago I was in Vienna chilling with a friend of mine who's studying there. We're both Americans but naturally, as we were in Austria, the majority of the other people in her group of friends and the bar in general are Austrians (a few Germans here and there and one dude from Bulgaria who really likes Alice in Chains and Pearl Jam. He's a 25 year old Doctor and wears slacks every day. I dunno man don't ask). Oh wait up I have to give some background on this. I have a bunch of friends who are Germans and I have always been fascinated by their overwhelming love of David Hasselhoff (the dude has sold more records than the Beatles there and he played the fall of the Berlin Wall. For real, that's a lot of love.) And even though I have a bunch of German friends, none will admit their love of the Hoff. Right anyways, so bar, Vienna, sorta like a weird high school party with 20 somethings but worse beer (damned if I know how you can get worse than Busch but trust me Zweickl is. By far. That stuff is ass. Don't drink it. Ever). So the bar has some sorta generic "alternative" music (White Stripes, Franz Ferdinand, yeah that's right I listened to Franz Ferdinand in Austria. I dunno that was some funny ass s*** for me right there) on in the background, loud enough to hear the words but quiet enough to talk over. So it's me, Steph (my friend), Reiko (the bulgarian with the slacks and the grunge love), and like 8 or 9 Austrians/Germans. They're sorta doing the circle thing and saying stuff like "Jah!" and "Mein Gott! Ich haba eine axt in meinem kopf!" and the such and I don't under stand a damned word of it (cept maybe Jah! which is just a good word) and Steph, Reiko, and I are a bit outside of the Teutonic circle. All of a sudden the song changes and music gets all loud and everyone in the joint sorta flips out and does the 14 year old girl scream that they do when they get all excited about seeing one of their friends that they haven't seen since last class and everyone starts dancing. I of course have no fricking clue what's going on cause I'm mad not of Germanic descent. The song is sorta like early 90s/late 80s lame-ass pop but it's in English but I still don't recognize it. So I ask Steph and Reiko what the hell is going on and why do all these whacked Weiner kids know this crap English song and more than that why in the hell do they all know every single word, why are they screaming and dancing and stuff, and most of all wo sind meine hosen (well maybe not wo sind meine hosen but I just wanted to say it cause I learned it. It means where are my pants. It's very useful. Almost as useful as "Schurne lederhosen. Pas dir gut!" or something like that which means, "nice lederhosen. They look good on you!") Of course Steph who knows nothing about music and Reiko who wears slacks and listens to Pearl Jam have no F-ing clue what it is so I turn to one of the Austo/Germo/Teuto/whatever kids and ask what's up. All excitedly the dude shouts over the music something to the tune of "Jah! Eetz Dayfid Hesselhoff!" I think I blackout out laughing and sh*tting myself at that point.

And that's how I gained 100 pounds.