For MTB, Deore (not XT, LX etc, just plain Deore, class up from Alivio) is the most durable in my experience.

For road, 105 (or even Tiagra) is the "sweet spot".

I'm a fan of lower sprocket numbers, because up to 8 speeds at the back seems to be less sensitive to play in RD pivots and dirty/worn cables and housing. I've had very good experience with Shimano Claris road shifters, though derailleurs were Sora clas and brakes were Tiagra.