Dave tells no lies!

This time of year, a funny story for my teen years resurfaces. I used to ice-fish with my grandpa and his buddies. Nels Nelson (95 year old Norwegian) was a long-time friend of Grandpa's and frequently joined us fishing.
One quiet afternoon in the ice-house, Nels elbows me in the ribs to say "I've got a problem"
Me (being a naive 14-year-old) replied with concern "What's the matter? How can I help you?"
Nels says "I've gotta pee, but I've got 5 inches of clothes on and only a 3-inch d***"

I blushed while Nels and Grandpa enjoyed a good chuckle.

(I hope nobody finds this story 'inappropriate' - I watched Sausage Party last week and I might be desensitized to 'inappropriate' humor)