I understand completely. When I was a student in Greeley, CO 30 (ish) years ago, I rode my bike everywhere, and enjoyed training on the many lightly traveled section roads. A small but thriving bike/racing culture grew up around the Bike Peddler which was about a block from my apartment. I remember it as heavenly. When I moved to Albuquerque I wound up with a non-bikable commute, and when I tried to ride for exercise on what seemed like ample shoulders of state roads I was, for the first time in my life, intentionally harassed by drivers. Cars (or pickups, more likely), would cross the white line to buzz me, I was once forced off the pavement, insults were shouted, things were thrown. Clearly, the difference was one of place. I stopped riding. Being in conflict is one thing; being defenseless (not even a GoPro in those days) is another.

When I moved to Pittsburgh attitudes were a little better but roads far worse: twisty, narrow, no shoulder and frequently a deep rut immediately off the fog line. When I found myself overweight and overstressed a few years ago, I thought of my many happy miles back in Colorado, bought a bike and managed to drop 40 pounds by finding a few safe-ish training routes and spending several hours a week at an outdoor cycling track not far from home. When the kids are all gone to college, my wife and I intend to move to a place from which we can bike to work. There are some new and excellent bike lanes, and there are routes heavily used by bike commuters where drivers are habituated, and there are many places to live where one can safely access a bike artery to downtown. But trying to commute by bike from our current location would be suicide. Even my training routes would be suicide during rush hour, when people care absolutely nothing about anything but themselves and their own frustration and impatience. Any commuting route would have to go through various kill boxes, where an incident would simply be an eventuality.

So, to the newbie I would say that not all places and times and riders are equal. I often see young, strong riders, or no-other-option cyclists in traffic that I wouldn't dare. I have colleagues who commute by bike in all but the worst weather, with nary a care, never a horror story, by virtue of their locations. And I have survived as a cyclist by picking my spots and knowing my limitations, but know I have to move if I wish to commute from home.