Originally Posted by merlinextraligh

You're not finding the right rides. In most decent sized communities you'll find group rides all the way from absolute hammer fests to purely social, with numerous gradations in between.

Here for example the local club has A, B, C, S rides.

S is purely social no drop.

C is appropriate for riders new to groups, and/or people that aren't terribly fit or just don't want to go real fast.

B is appropriate for generally fit recreational cyclists

A is appropriate for very fit recreational cyclists.

Then there's a whole nother level of rides by the local racing group.

The Racing club's B rides are very fast, but cooperative, and are appropriate for strong riders, who might find the Recreational Club's A rides too slow.

The Racing club's A rides are essentially training races and if they aren't fast enough for you, consider a Pro License.

Thus, its pretty easy to find a ride that is literally your speed.