In just the past two weeks, I've found an iPhone 5s, a combination lock, a bungee cord, and a Stanley box cutter knife.
The iPhone screen wouldn't light up. That's probably because it had been out after a couple of days of rain and there was moisture inside it. Water droplets were visible in the camera. I just handed it in at a nearby Verizon store, since it had a SIM card with Verizon's name on it.
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If something doesn't ache, I could be trying harder.