Darned dirty hippies.

Sounds a lot like me.

Well, minus the sandals. I don't have any sandals that fit well enough for cycling, but I might try to find some for this summer. I had some Birkies from their 1990s experimental phase with synthetic materials for beach wear. Comfy but the uppers never adhered to the lowers for long. I've tried all kinds of adhesives and nothing holds the two materials together. Even Birkenstock admitted it was a material flaw and they replaced one pair free before discontinuing that lineup.

Only time I've worn my tighty diaper shorts in a year was Tuesday when the wind was a steady 20-25 mph with gusts up to 40 mph. The route I planned to ride would be mostly headwinds. I know from previous experience my usual casual baggy shorts would be catching wind like a sail. Besides slowing me down to a crawl (I'm never fast, my average this year is a modest 14 mph), it's potentially dangerous when my comfy, loose-legged shorts suddenly become parachutes.

It felt weird to be wearing the tighty diapers again. Especially when I had to stop at a park to refill my water bottle and catch a breather. Kids were romping around everywhere. I was glad my only short sleeve jerseys are a casual club fit and longer than usual to cover my butt and crotch. No matter how long I've bicycled and been around many folks who routinely wear the tighty stuff -- including me, years ago -- I've never become comfortable with that skin tight look around civilians, or getting off the bike to dine in a restaurant or pop into a grocery store.

But the tighty diapers do have their place for wind resistance and comfort on longer rides. They're just a necessity with unfortunate cosmetics. Too bad men can't wear a wraparound skirt like women do to cover their bikini bottoms when going into restaurants, etc. We should have wicking fabric kilts. And sporrans for holding our goodies. I mean phones and keys and stuff.