I'm surprised and disappointed the medical staff are treating you this way. In all my years working in hospitals and clinics in patient care, and as a caregiver and medical liaison for my family, I've never encountered that sort of presumptive and abusive behavior from doctors or nurses.

If anything my mom's various doctors and nurses are sometimes too deferential, avoiding confronting her with unpleasant information or even suggesting firm guidelines for participating in her own treatment. I often wish they'd be a bit more emphatic, which doesn't mean unkind of harsh. But my mom enjoys the deferential treatment too much and tends not to listen to instructions, so we have many disagreements over what the doctors and nurses actually said. I've begun recording some appointments on audio or video to play back for mom so she'll believe me when I tell her what the doctors and nurses said.