The rear wheel is centered between both chain and seat stays. I was thinking about cables...

Would a left pull be caused by a right side cable, or a left side cable?

I could go Banzai and disconnect both front and rear brakes, or go semi-Banzai and disconnect one at a time. If that doesn't work I could disconnect the gear cable and ride in 8th for a spin.

Plan B is to switch everything over to another frame and start from scratch. Not my favorite choice.