Lemme get this right, "I'm too ripped to use downtube shifters"?
...but without the guads to torque through the slow gear changes of STIs.
Well, I had this long, detailed(boring) reply written out. Hit the wrong button and lost it all. Probably a good thing.
Summary: Compared my body size/build/makeup to Mark Cavendish + 45-50lbs. Even at the weight/fitness I played basketball in college 30 years ago, too bulky/heavy/wrong type of muscles to be a decent endurance athlete. Yada yada. It causes cramping problems on distance events throughout the body including the muscles controlling the STI levers and that's why I use friction. Blah, Blah, Blah.
It also included a great story about females applying body numbers at dus/tris copping a feel on my arms/legs and getting caught by my wife. I included that so you wouldn't think I was blowing smoke about being "ripped" or big gauds. That was lost also. It's a good story, and it gets better every time I tell it!

It's a lot better than talking about padding in shorts/saddles and STI/friction.