Nicely done satirical piece. As a car enthusiast first before becoming also a C&V (and/or general bike) enthusiast, I don't want a boatload of electronics and "connectivity" to other things. They talk about 'smart bikes' that are connected to the web et al and I tilt my head in puzzlement thinking to myself, I thought riding a bike was to get away from being plugged in to things? This Gen Y guy missed the gadget train, and I am ok with that. I do understand data collection and self-comparison and all. I did do competitive sports, so improving metrics is fun and encouraging, but for bike stuff, I'll pass. I could ride my '16 aluminum Trek Emonda with 9-speed DA (lol!) at 17.5 lbs and do the Strava PR and KOM thing, or I could ride a bike I really love to ride (not that the Emonda is bad, it's stellar!) that is 4-6 lbs heavier and enjoy the natural stimuli of the environment around me, free from the temptation of checking things.