"A Guinness is the best of the thick dark beers that is commonly available."

Pheh. Swill. Have you smelled the Liffey by the Guinness brewery? Jaysus... getcherself a Murphy's, lad, don't listen to those Dublin sorts... now Cork, there's a real city, the ferry goes to France instead of England... better bikes at the end of the Cork ferry, anyhoo. .