I wasn't sure where to post this, but thought maybe somebody here would be looking for the ultimate custom mountain/road/hybrid/funk/rididfrontsuspension bike.

https://offerup.com/item/detail/324510546/?ref=Search

Some pretty sweet upgrades, like the bar end on the seat post to hang your, ummm colostomy bag? Bungee toe straps, bars and grips for short right arm top, and long lefty drop rider (with brakes on opposite sides so you can't accidentally brake), epoxied rigid front suspension for better handling, custom pvc stem cap, this list goes on. Stock kick stand.

Maybe if you've never seen a bike it will make sense.