Originally Posted by
MikeyMK
A firework-propelled 12in rubber penis in the seat tube, to burst through the seat and penetrate the thief's chocolate starfish, ending it's movement explosively, once the thief had ridden over 10ft, would be my approach.
Ah, yes, a variation on the 'ejection seat' strategy. I wouldn't mind losing a decent saddle if I knew it had launched a thief a minimum of 30 yards into the sky. And of course, it should set him on fire, too.