Who put the benzidrine in Mrs Murphy's ovaltine?

I think im too nerdy/geeky to be a hipster and I don't dress fancy enough, nor is my hair feathered/layered. I don't go to see enough bands, and I don't really get liking things ironically. I like things cuz I like things. I'm more of an artfag, really. Heh. I got into fixedgears because my 24 speed was stolen and I moved to a place where things were no longer walking distance (from Providence to San Francisco). I needed a new bike. My friend helped me convert an old schwinn frame that lived multiple lives as a singlespeed, a coasterbreak bike, and a fixed gear. I realized I liked riding fixed the most so then I spent the next few months building up a nice one. The end.

*does little dance*

edit: i do have some tight jeans but they were a joke present from a good friend. I don't have the matching white belt and don't wear them too often but they're deceptively comfortable.

Then again I went to art school so I guess that makes me a total hipster anyway.