Please don't feel insulted if this isn't you. LOTS of people use quick releases incorrectly. It's not a wing nut.
1. Hold the lever parallel to the axle land tighten the nut on the opposite end until it is finger tight.
2. Now push the lever in so it is perpendicular to the axle. If it's not hard to do, you didn't do it right.
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My greatest fear is all of my kids standing around my coffin and talking about "how sensible" dad was.