Davei1980,

After reading this thread, I have some suggestions. (Some have not yet been covered.)

1. Look up tests and reviews pf the light your mother bought you: how effective is it?
I like Light and Motion, NiteRider, and other rechargeable LED lights: we use Light and Motion 550s and a NiteRider 650.
I prefer the smaller size and greater convenience of the L & M lights, if you are looking for recommendations on headlights.
Ultimately, you have to choose the headlight(s) that work best for you, not for someone else -- whether or not they meet standards X, Y, or Z,
and whether or not anyone else agrees with your choice.

2. If your current headlight works for you during most of your commute, your current light may not be the problem.

3. Have you tried wearing polarized goggles or glasses with a clear or yellow lens? Polarized lenses cut glare, which you mentioned as a major issue.
A light yellow lens should increase your ability to detect details, which is why skiers use them on low-light days. (You may need to increase the brightness of your headlamp(s) to accommodate for the lower amount of total light reaching your eyes with any colored lenses.)

4. As one other poster suggested, wearing a cycling cap under your helmet and/or using a helmet with a visor may help you block the most
intense headlight glare by lowering or turning your head. (Polarized lenses will help limit the amount of glare, too.)

5. If you try all of the suggestions made here and are still having difficulty, you may want to have your eyesight -- especially your night vision --
checked by an optometrist or an opthalmologist. (Try to find one who cycles regularly in similar conditions or who at least understands
athletes and night vision.)

6. Let us know what works -- or does not work -- for you as you experiment with different options. We might learn something from your experiences and
experiments.