I feel your pain. I have also had to deal with a mandatory shut down/ cut back/ rest period when I would have no part of it. In 2016, pulled up lame in a 5K road race. No pain- just felt something wasn't right in a knee and cut the race short, walked back to the start/ finish and had an early beer. Tried to run on the bad right knee two days later and really bottomed out cause I couldn't. Well, R.I.C.E., weights, PT was to no avail. Ortho found a 2" stress fx to the femur. Ten weeks without being able to run.

Panic, depression, worry for a few days but what can you do. Well, cycling was ok. Mountain biking helped. Bought a road bike. Had one in 94, a nice Cannondale but sold it cause, well, I was a runner, you know.

It's 2019 and I still run( maybe 10 miles@week on the mill or dirt) but, I ride on the roads or singletrack when the weather allows and compete on Zwift in the winter. I'm happy, fit but, I know the damn knee could tell me tomorrow its had enough and its time to care of me-the knee(again!). Was told in 2016 to expect a knee replacement in a couple years. Last summer had a repeat MRI and re-eval. doc said it looks good-- "what are you doing to keep it together?". Told him everything I could think of- weights, cross training, primarily cycling in a serious but, realistic way for a 67 yr old. He said-- "Well, whatever you are doing, keep doing it"


My take on where you are - be patient, be kind to yourself and realize that what you truly love and think you can never do without may not be sustainable. It well might be but, it may be time for a change.

Good Luck to you, linberl.