Tough question. My tribe says if it doesn't feel decent enough while it's hard, you'll have to drastically shorten it's life with various treatments to make it feel right. I use minimal proofhide on the top of my saddles only with great success. You want soft? Use neats foot oil on top and bottom and take 10 years off of it's life. So it sounds like you want a solution somewhere in between the two extremes and others may chime in on this.

Winning solutions always include riding more.