That's exactly how it was for me for year. It's a perfect way of putting it. Even now I don't call myself a non-smoker. I'm an ex-smoker and I know whatever my feelings are towards smoking now that can change on a dime and I'll want one again. I catch myself fantasizing about the days of lounging on my patio with a smoke and a coke after a long ride and then I also have to remind myself of what I've seen happen when people don't quit. The fantasy is short-lived but it's always there. I literally have to decide all the time to be smoke free even though I also say that I hate the smell and how it would make me feel, which is true, but when you're addicted it matters less and you notice it less.